The KNIGHTS are riding along the top of a ridge. The country is wild and inhospitable. Suddenly some of them see fire in the distance and ride towards it. As they approach they see an impressive WIZARD figure striding around conjuring up fire from the ground and causing various bushes and branches to burst into flame.
ARTHUR: What manner of man are you that can conjure up fire without flint or tinder?
TIM: I am an enchanter.
ARTHUR looks at BEDEVERE.
ARTHUR: By what name are you known?
TIM: There are some who call me Tim?
ARTHUR: Greetings Tim the Enchanter!
TIM: Greetings King Arthur.
ARTHUR: You know my name?
TIM: I do. (does another fire trick) You seek the Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: That is our quest. You know much that is hidden O Tim.
TIM (does another fire trick): Quite.
Ripple of applause from the KNIGHTS.
ARTHUR: Yes we seek the Holy Grail. (clears throat very quietly) Our quest is to find the Holy Grail.
ONE OR TWO KNIGHTS: Yes it is.
ARTHUR: And so we’re looking for it.
KNIGHTS: Yes, we are.
BEDEVERE: We have been for some time.
KNIGHTS: Yes.
ROBIN: Months.
ARTHUR: Yes … and obviously any help we get is … is very … helpful.
GALAHAD: Do you know where it …
TIM does another fire trick.
ALL OTHER KNIGHTS: Ssssh!
ARTHUR: Fine … well er … we mustn’t take up anymore of your time … I don’t suppose … sorry to sort of keep on about it … you haven’t by any chance … aaah … any idea where one might find … a … aaa …
TIM: What?
ARTHUR: A G…g…g…
TIM: A Grail?
They all jump slightly and look about apprehensively.
ARTHUR: Er … yes … I think so.
ALL OTHER KNIGHTS: Yes.
TIM: Yes.
KNIGHTS: Fine.
ROBIN: Splendid!
OTHERS: Yes, marvelous.
TIM looks thoughtful and they all stand around a little. Then TIM produces another fire trick producing several different colors.
ARTHUR: Look, you’re a busy man …
TIM: Yes, I can help you with your guest.
Slight pause.
ALL OTHER KNIGHTS: Thank you. Yes, thank you very much.
TIM: To the north there lies a cave, the cave of Caerbannog, wherein, carved in mystic runes, upon the very living rock, the last words of Olfin Bedwere of Rheged …
There is a thunderclap and a wind starts. The KNIGHTS get nervous.
TIM: … make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: How shall we find this cave, O Tim?
TIM: Follow!
The KNIGHTS register delight and wheel round on themselves.
TIM: But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair … therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth.
ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance!