Suddenly jazzy music. Animated titles. (A new film completely free with the Monty Python film.)
“THE CREDITS”
Four of five minute film (mainly animated) about the credits, i.e. it includes the actual credits for the film but is really elaborate.
THE END
Slushy organ music starts and the houselights in the cinema come on … organ music continues as the audience leave.
Cast list:
GRAHAM CHAPMAN PLAYED: KING ARTHUR. HICCOUGHING GUARD, THREE-HEADED KNIGHT
JOHN CLEESE PLAYED: SECOND SOLDIER WITH A KEEN INTEREST IN BIRDS, LARGE MAN WITH DEAD BODY, BLACK KNIGHT, MR NEWT (A VILLAGE BLACKSMITH INTERESTED IN BURNING WITCHES), A QUITE EXTRAORDINARILY RUDE FRENCHMAN, TIM THE WIZARD, SIR LAUNCELOT
TERRY GILLIAM PLAYED: PATSY (ARTHUR’S TRUSTY STEED), THE GREEN KNIGHT SOOTHSAYER, BRIDGEKEEPER, SIR GAWAIN (THE FIRST TO BE KILLED BY THE RABBIT)
ERIC IDLE PLAYED: THE DEAD COLLECTOR, MR BINT (A VILLAGE NE’ER-DO -WELL VERY KEEN ON BURNING WITCHES), SIR ROBIN, THE GUARD WHO DOESN’T HICCOUGH BUT TRIES TO GET THINGS STRAIGHT, CONCORDE (SIR LAUNCELOT’S TRUSTY STEED), ROGER THE SHRUBBER (A SHRUBBER), BROTHER MAYNARD
NEIL INNES PLAYED: THE FIRST SELF-DESTRUCTIVE MONK, ROBIN’S LEAST FAVORITE MINSTREL, THE PAGE CRUSHED BY A RABBIT, THE OWNER OF A DUCK
TERRY JONES PLAYED: DENNIS’S MOTHER, SIR BEDEVERE, THREE-HEADED KNIGHT, PRINCE HERBERT
MICHAEL PALIN PLAYED: 1ST SOLDIER WITH A KEEN INTEREST IN BIRDS, DENNIS, MR DUCK (A VILLAGE CARPENTER WHO IS ALMOST KEENER THAN ANYONE ELSE TO BURN WITCHES), THREE-HEADED KNIGHT, SIR GALAHAD, KING OF SWAMP CASTLE, BROTHER MAYNARD’S ROOMMATE
CONNIE BOOTH PLAYED: THE WITCH
CAROL CLEVELAND PLAYED: ZOOT AND DINGO
BEE DUFFELL PLAYED: OLD CRONE TO WHOM KING ARTHUR SAID “NI!”
JOHN YOUNG PLAYED: THE DEAD BODY THAT CLAIMS IT ISN’T, AND THE HISTORIAN WHO ISN’T A.J.P. TAYLOR AT ALL
RITA DAVIES PLAYED: THE HISTORIAN WHO ISN’T A.J.P. TAYLOR (HONESTLY)’S WIFE
SALLY KINGHORN PLAYED: EITHER WINSTON OR PIGLET
AVRIL STEWART PLAYED: EITHER PIGLET OR WINSTON
PYTHON (MONTY) PICTURES LTD
Registered Address: 20 Fitzroy Square, London W1P6BB
Registered Number 1138069 England
August 5th, 1974.
Dear Mike,
The Censor’s representative, Tony Kerpel, came along to Friday’s screening at Twinkenham and he gave up his opinion of the film’s probable certificate.
He thinks the film will be AA, but it would be possible, given some dialogue cuts, to make the film an A rating, which would increase the audience. (AA is 14 and over, and A is 5-14).
For an ‘A’ we would have to:
Lose as may shits as possible
Take Jesus Christ out, if possible
Lose “I fart in your general direction” Lose “the oral sex”
Lose “oh, fuck off”
Lose “We make castanets out of your testicles”
I would like to get back to the Censor and agree to lose the shits, take the odd Jesus Christ out and lose Oh fuck off, but to retain ‘fart in your general direction’, ‘castanets of your testicles’ and ‘oral sex’ and ask him for an ‘A’ rating on that basis.
Please let me know as soon as possible your attitude to this.
Yours sincerely,
Mark Forstater