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From “Monty Python Live at City Center”

Transcribed by Malcolm Dickinson

Man: ‘Evening, squire!

Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.

Man: Is, uh,…Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?

Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?

M: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?

S: (flustered) Well, she sometimes “goes”, yes.

M: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?

S: (confused) I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you.

M: Follow me. Follow me. That’s good, that’s good! A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!

S: Are you, uh,…are you selling something?

M: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?


M: Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!

S: Well, I, uh….

M: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?

S: Um, she likes sport, yes!

M: I bet she does, I bet she does!

S: As a matter of fact she’s very fond of cricket.

M: ‘Oo isn’t? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She’s been around a bit, been around?

S: She has traveled, yes. She’s from Scarsdale.



M: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!

S: I wasn’t going to!

M: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested in….photography, ay? “Photographs, ay”, he asked him knowlingly?

S: Photography?

M: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?

S: Holiday snaps, eh?

M: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography?

S: No, no I’m afraid we don’t have a camera.

M: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?

S: Look… are you insinuating something?

M: Oh, no, no, no…yes.

S: Well?

M: Well, you’re a man of the world, squire.

S: Yes…

M: I mean, you’ve been around a bit, you know, like, you’ve, uh…. You’ve “done it”….

S: What do you mean?

M: Well, I mean like,….you’ve SLEPT, with a lady….

S: Yes….

M: What’s it like