From “Monty Python Live at City Center”
Transcribed by Malcolm Dickinson
Man: ‘Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,…Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
M: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
S: (flustered) Well, she sometimes “goes”, yes.
M: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
S: (confused) I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you.
M: Follow me. Follow me. That’s good, that’s good! A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!
S: Are you, uh,…are you selling something?
M: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?
M: Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
S: Well, I, uh….
M: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
S: Um, she likes sport, yes!
M: I bet she does, I bet she does!
S: As a matter of fact she’s very fond of cricket.
M: ‘Oo isn’t? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She’s been around a bit, been around?
S: She has traveled, yes. She’s from Scarsdale.
M: SAY NO MORE!!
M: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
S: I wasn’t going to!
M: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested in….photography, ay? “Photographs, ay”, he asked him knowlingly?
M: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
S: Holiday snaps, eh?
M: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography?
S: No, no I’m afraid we don’t have a camera.
M: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?
S: Look… are you insinuating something?
M: Oh, no, no, no…yes.
M: Well, you’re a man of the world, squire.
M: I mean, you’ve been around a bit, you know, like, you’ve, uh…. You’ve “done it”….
S: What do you mean?
M: Well, I mean like,….you’ve SLEPT, with a lady….
M: What’s it like